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Thanks for allowing me to share a testimony today uh; I just want to start with a prayer.
If that’s all right, I know I’ve got about 15 minutes, and I’ll try and stick to that father uh thanks that you’ve allowed me to get to this point.
Is your grace and your mercy and your deliverance from many things as I’ve become clear when I share this short that testimony has got me to this point and even your discipline, mod, which is no present at the time.
But your chastisement and your rebuke, you only do that to your children that you love, because that shows us that that we’re your children, lord god, sometimes I take offense at people on a daily basis in other churches, when, when they’re openly laugh at me or they’re, Openly cruel to me, but lord, I forgive people small things as well as big things that people out with the church have done to me during my work for you lords, and I forgive much because I’ve been forgiven much.
I love much because I’ve been forgiven much I’ll love without partiality.
Lord, as you love me, I’m accepted in you.
I don’t need to pretend to anyone that I’m someone, I’m not I’m loved in you you’re my father.
I fully know that you’re, my father, because you show me that over this year, lord, just let us go forth boldly and spirit and truth cleansing our hands and our hearts so that we can represent you by integrity and help us to present ourselves as a Living sacrifice and pursue that holiness and peace with everyone, whether the offenders are no lord. I thank you for this opportunity and I hope it touches someone’s heart.
Let’s be better testimony and i’ll try and stick to time in Jesus name; I mean okay.
So a lot you know me personally, but some of you don’t and you’ve not met me and personally but a lot you have – and I know you all know me for the meeting anyway, but I started walking with the lord in 2018, after years of uh Serious drug abuse and mental health problems – I was in hospitals for seven years in my 30s and a lot of that time.
They kept me there because, uh, they deemed me a danger to myself and then at that time I spent years in serious addictions, uh heroin, which I used to inject intravenously, smoking crack, cocaine uh.
I started on cannabis and alcohol, and I’m free from all that today.
I’m free from all the mental health problems.
I don’t take any medication for that today, but shortly before I started my journey walking with the Lord Jesus, I had the most serious suicide attempt.
I had many over the years, the most serious one, and I was in a coma and the royal infirmary in Glasgow, because I took a deliberate overdose of medication and alcohol.
And thankfully I don’t remember it because I was unconscious and I was in a coma for a few days.
My family thought i’d pass away, but I didn’t looking back.
I believe Jesus revived me then, and many times in my life, I’ve slipped my throat and overdosed on heroin.
Nobody gave me an ambulance, including the first time I took heroin.
They dragged me out in the street, so I didn’t die in their flat, yeah.
That was a long time ago, but shortly after that, more serious suicide attempt.
I was in that coma.
I was treated for pneumonia.
Then I went back to England where I live for years, because I had I thought I had friends there, but they weren’t friends.
There were more acquaintances and I had another kind of breakdown and they eventually found me a bed in the pride in the northeast and and I sort of realized when I was in there, that I survived physical death so many times that that I thought you know.
I’m lucky to be alive and i i said to them in there it was.
It was going to know that the air force base, I said, can you take me to our church? Please there’s a one on the basis.
He’d know, there’s one and town would take you there if you want to go and I went twice, and that was maybe one of the most important days in my adult life, because I said to the preacher.
The first time I went to that church.
I said who did. I confess my sins to God and another person, or just god and the preacher said no, just god will do, and I that was a day.
I realized I was a sinner, so that was a really important day.
I took communion that day and then the next week, then I came back to Glasgow and started.
I thought started reasonably well walking with the lord, but really I was just a professional believer and that’ll become clear in a minute.
I couldn’t find a church, a home in church.
It took me.
I was going around churches in the city with friends, friends that I knew where I was born in other places like a spiritual, gypsy and eventually, I found pastor jerry on a an app and I joined house of prayer for all nations and yeah still started off Reasonably well but uh I realized now I can’t have god on my terms and still committing sin and being a hypocrite, and that’s no true worship.
True, worship is how I am here on my own behind closed doors and how I am, and I’m talking to people in church or friends outside whether it’s Christian friends or whether it’s a college or whatever else it is and I’ll be.
I was actually really religious.
You know, and but the lord during that time helped me achieve things that I thought I’d never achieved, like flying abroad, like going back to college, like climbing mountains again like stopping smoking, and you know I know now from experience gorgeous.
That’s the proud because I felt he’s a know just his rebuke and his chastisement, but I felt his discipline, which wasn’t pleasant at the time over a year ago.
But I wasn’t; I wasn’t submitting to god: Alton setting doors so that scripture therefore submit to God and resist the devil and he will flee.
That’s very pertinent because I realize now, when I’m doing my best to walk and in spirit and truth resisting the devil but submitting to.
God is important about that scripture that then he flees because I can open those and thank god, they’re all closed today in Jesus name.
Sometimes I get negativity, as I’ve played in that prayer earlier, and I hold no grudge against anyone, because I know that I’m accepted, I know i’m loved.
I know I’m forgiven, and as the blood of Jesus cleanses me cleanses, any human being when they truthfully accept him and his love is shared abroad in the heart truthfully but December in 2019.
The Lord allowed me to get to a place of real brokenness uh when they took me to a psychiatric hospital against my will uh, because I was being more than proud that you know I’ve been arrogant really, and it was more than enough, and it was just Religion yeah, I wasn’t walking in it in truth, but so well, no focus on that something bad happened at that time, but we’re not focused on that.
We’ll move on to that, because I forgive all without pleasure this because we’re told to forgive. It’s not even a suggestion.
It’s a commandment, you know, forgive our trespasses as we forgive everyone’s trespass against us, so anyway, January 2019 and and after that place of extreme brokenness.
I wasn’t even talking to the Lord in prayer seeking his face or reading his word, certainly on that hospital, but then, in a bit January, uh last year he started talking to me at local, worships and stuff like that people started coming back into my life.
Like friends are bumped into local worships and at the local gospel hall yeah the the the flashed up uh, I think, on the screen at the coffin one.
They don’t normally share the gospel there, but it was basically wake up because your salvation is nearer than ever before, it’s time to cast off the walks of darkness.
This is not going to offend 15 minutes what I’ve put, but so I’ll just speak it for my heart and because I have made notes for all the scripture, but there’s too many to fit into 15 minutes.
But you know I know god’s love today; I’m not even going to look at that.
I know god’s love today I know there’s trials and tribulations in life.
Jesus said that he said: do you have trouble in the world but be of good cheer for I’ve overcome the world? I know that whatever I go through, I’m redeemed and forgiven um I’m saved, because I knew since January last year when the law started.
In my life and talking to me and then pastor jerry, then other people that I know started coming back into my life and counseling me and shepherding me and I’m not perfect and I’ll never be perfect until uh either.
The Lord calls me home or unless he comes back before then, but I’ve got a desire now using all that brokenness for the mental health and the serious addictions.
I lost my twin brother through a head-on overdose as well.
I see people in town when I go there and on the streets of Glasgow and people in my family as well now and they’re, broken and they’re lost by addiction that they held captives with the chains of the enemy.
And I was that person for years with.
No hope you know dignity with no joy.
I have joy and dignity and hope today, more than ever before and the surety of eternal glory when I pass for this body, but you know Isaiah 61.
Let let’s set the captives fee for the bondages and chains and let’s lead many to the Lord and salvation as part of jerry’s, greatly taught me recently, uh.
You know it’s not just a pre-elect the whole world’s the pre-elect, because Jesus came not to condemn the world, but to save it, and we are not just to be Sunday, Christians, but 24, 7.
True, worship and that’s me having integrity in my whole life, and I thank god today for hearing of my backsliding and my religious behavior.
I thank god today for the healing of all my addictions, because I’ve had challenges last year, uh that in the past, and would have sent me back to the top of the off-license and or the drug dealer or any other uh habitual uh self gratification.
Type of behavior, the la last addiction that the lord broke in me was lost pretty much at the beginning of last year.
I still struggle with the thoughts, sometimes but again I’ll, never be perfect, but the actions that go with that last are pretty much not there.
But it’s a thing.
I need to ask God for strength today.
The difference in my walk with the lord is: I have a personal relationship with him.
I seek his face uh daily.
I seek him in his what and after negativity last night.
He answers me in his words, and he meets me right at my point.
I need to give me psalm, 121 last night and basically he’s saying that he’s going to help me and that’s how and – and you know I never want to be a hypocrite ever again.
God didn’t just resist the proud, because Jesus came to destroy scenario.
So so how can I be a professing believer or an act? And I know i’m born again today again from what I said uh earlier with the lord moving in my life and that he does chasing me and rebuked me and even now, even though that’s a bit uncomfortable, but I never want to feel his discipline ever again.
No severe discipline like before, but the people out there lost, and that’s not just addicts – that’s not just alcoholics, it’s not just people that don’t yet know the lord, but it’s also people that think they have everything they need in life.
[, Music ], a guy, might have 10 million quid in the bank, two beautiful kids and a beautiful wife and a nice car and two holidays a year and that’s her life in the pit of hell and that he thinks up until the point of death.
He’s got all that he needs.
You know I say he’s in the scriptures: what does it profit a man to gain the world, but loses so it provides them nothing.
So you know today.
I have much to be thankful for all that freedom for that salvation.
For that redemption, for the hope that I have today for the small amount of friends that I do have, and even when negativity or and or attack comes in sometimes it’s through Christian friends even recently, no derelict is negativity or or anything but, as I said before, Jesus will never leave us, he’ll, never forsake his, and at the end of the night I try and hand her over in prayer.
I don’t do so well at night handing it over, but I try and thank the lord because I know it’s him that got me through it and recently up the west end.
There was a guy, you know, witnessed here a couple of times, and he thought he could be good enough to get any heaven like a lot of people think he said, I’m a good person.
I don’t do this or do that.
I said no, you must be born again, and I’ll try to explain to you what that means.
You know born of spirit and born of water and confessing in your heart, believing unto righteousness and your heart and who Jesus isn’t confessing your mouth unto salvation is made, but you need to believe in your heart and and daily.
The lord proves himself to me and small answers to prayer, but I know immediately when he’s answered him, because he does it in front of my face, and I thank him for that and therefore because I know that he hears me because he proves that he hears Me and his answers to prayer, sometimes uh, you know just a desire to have genuine humility, genuine gentleness, no religion and to reach people that are under under the yoke of the enemy.
I know – I repeat myself sometimes, but God is good and – and I just want to reciprocate that love and that goodness, and that that compassion, that he shows me daily and seek his righteousness faster.
Some people think, and some submitting to god sounds like control to a lot of people.
But it’s not. It’s no control at all, because in that submission, when I submit more than ever before – and it still falls short on a daily basis in some areas.
But in that submission, there’s actually great great freedom, and you know who the Son sets free is free.
Indeed, I’m free from all the addictions permanently, I’m free from mental health, serious mental health that I could have nearly died and many times and I’m free from all chains and bondages.
In the praise of lord every day of my life, my we sister was born again last year and there has been family reconciliation. I thank the lord that I can take correction and a church satan, and I can even take people judging me and correcting me And love, because that is love.
You know you save a sinner, then if you do that. I’m not saying it anymore, I used to say I’m a senator by grace, but I know i’m a born-again believer. I thank god every day for the things that he has gave me salvation sound Mind freedom from all changing wonders is freedom from fear and that I know I have a father that I always wanted all my life and just let us all do it spirit and truth in Jesus name.